New Clothing Line

If it had a million dollars I would start a new clothing line. Thanks to BNL for the beginning of my blog today! In all seriousness, if I ever strike it rich I am going to have someone design clothes for me and for all woman like me. Woman like me... Who are those woman and how did this idea come to light.
Yesterday, I took a mental health day. I did not go to work because I felt if I did not take the day off I was going to go ballistic and scream possibly cry in my cube all day long. Considering I am the "ice princess" of the department, I thought this would hurt my warm and fuzzy reputation. So with my day off I did what woman do and I went to the mall. Unlike most woman though I went to find presents for everyone else for the holidays and buy myself a white shirt. My white shirt had a huge hole in the left arm. I wore it anyway, but it was a violation of my companies dress code policy, I kid you not, so I went to buy a new one. Standing in the dressing room for the 5th time this revelation came to me. I have a freakishly out of proportion body! I must have because nothing I try on, ever fits. I would post a picture of myself for everyone to see my freakish body but I cant figure out how to add the photo. I am not a techy person either. So my description will hopefully paint this picture.
First of all I am short. I am not small or petit as I am told by others trying to be politically correct, I am short. I am 4'11" short. I wear heels all the time but when it comes to clothes, I am short. I tried on several pants yesterday and they all said, short or petite length and they all still had yards of cloth I would need to remove. So I gave up on pants and said I would just keep wearing my "good ass pants" until they feel apart on their own and I was left naked. My good ass pants are these black pants that I love that make my ass look great. I have sewn the holes in these pants together about 4 times now. This is where I made my mistake. I should have stuck to my ass.
Trying on shirts brought forth a new kind of challenge. Now that you can picture me being short let me tell you where the freakish comes in to play. I am busty. God, I hate that word. Thats a word my fahter would use to describe some woman he saw in the mall. I like to say I am blessed but yesterday it was a curse. I have the ability to stand out ina crowd and often times get the "holy shit" from people walking by me. I dont mind. Most of the time I like being blessed and somtimes I bring attention on my to myself because I wear some shirts that are a little tight or have a V neck. Yesterday was not that kind of day. I tried on size 14 no go. I tried on size 16, no go. I tried on size 18 and this is where I stopped. Now let me say that the only part of the size 14 that did not fit was across the 2nd button. The only part that did not fit on the size 16, was across the second button, and the only part that just barely fits on the size 18 was across the second button. So now I have a white tent that I am wearing but it fits my breasts. So I bought my $48.00, yes $48.00 white shirt and left aggrevated. You see its $48.00 because its a lot of fucking material.
What I cant understand is that with the rise of plastic surgery for breast augmentation rising 80% this year, where are the clothes to fit these freakish Barbies. They have to exist and if not then these woman must all be pole dancers who dont need to wear clothes. See I work in a corporation so clothing is not optional.
So yesterday after talking to myself in a dressing room I considered plastic surgery myself. Reduce them was the battle cry in my head. I walked out and thought about it the rest of the day. So I tabled this thought for now and said maybe someday. Maybe someday after I have stopped running daily and let myself fall apart. Maybe when I am older and I need to have my bras special ordered from some old lady magazine. maybe later but not now.