Sitting at work today it occured to me that life as I know it has changed a lot since I was a child. Life has changed a lot since I was in my 20's for goodness sake. I am really not that old but out of my 20's anyway. It seems that those who wish to not offend the general population are taking control of the rest of the world and making it impossible for anyone to be told, "hey you suck." Let me see if I can explain a little better.
When I was a child you had to try out to be on a team. You tried out and if you were good enough, you made it and if not, you were hurt and either tried harder next time or gave up. Now to be a memeber of a team you just have to pay a fee and show up. No good, No bad, just indifference. This occurs in sports, dance, school newspapers and committees at work. No one seems to care if you are qualified, they just want you to show up and have a good time. Not that this is a bad thing. Lord knows it saved me from having to console a crying child now and then. My concern is that life does not operate on the just show up and have a good time theory. If that was true I would be the head of a multi billion dollar corporation driving a jag and having a houseboy, because hell I can try. It does not mean I am any good at billion dollar deals or plastic surgery but I would show up. Understand. Do you want your plastic surgeon to say, "Mrs. Jones I did the best I could on your breast augmentation." No, if your paying 30,00.00 for a glorious boob job you want glorious boobs.
I know I have been rambling, but what are we sheltering our kids and other grown ups from. Reality. It is ok to say someone sucks. Just say it nicely. It allows them to find the things they dont suck at and move on from the things they do. It allows them to live their life doing something they like versus doing something just because they can show up. If my kids do something below their standard, I tell them. Next time they will either work harder or give up. They will live knowing they are not perfect and sometimes do things that downright just suck. Thats reality. If this post sucks please feel free to tell me. Luckily, this is not my full time job.
Tuesday, May 31, 2005
Thursday, May 26, 2005
Parenting and Sex
For those of you with children of any age you know that the title of this post is an oxymoron. You know that the sex you had that made you parents, is a thing of the past for at least 16 years. I say 16 because by that time most kids are driving and spend long hours away from the house. For those of you without kids let me see if I can paint the picture. You and your partner lying naked in front of a fire watching porno, makes you happy. You and your partner lying naked in front of a fire watching Nickelodeon, makes you Michael Jackson. Understand! I did not start this post today with the intention of talking about my sex life and how it has changed post children. That would take too long.
I am writting today because I dont understand sex ed in schools. About 4 months ago I was asked, by permission slip, if my teenage daughter could attend the sex ed portion of her science class given by a local clinic. For those of you that know me, I am a very open person and I have never had a problem discussing sexuality with my daughters. For those that read my last post you also know I am pretty liberal. I signed the permission slip and thought all was well.
I come from a family where sex is not a "bad" or "dirty" thing. My sisters and I all sat around with coffee at my Moms one day and told her all the palces we had sex in her house. One would say we are open. I also know that my mom and I are not the norm. I know that kids dont always get the benefit of talking to their parents about sex. So that is why sex ed is a good thing. Except the sex ed class that my daughter took talked about the following: Teen pregnancy, Abuse, STD's, Violence, and Puberty.
The one thing missing from the topics covered was Sex. No one told this bunch of teenagers what sex was. No pictures, no diagrams and no discussion. So we took a bunch of kids and told them not to get pregnant but we failed to tell them How they get pregnant. We told them not to get an STD but failed to tell them How they get STD's. Am I the only one that sees the flaw in this method?
Fortunately my daughter knows because thats the kind of parent I am. Consider this the next time you see a pregnat teenager, did we do our best to make sure she did not get that way or did we allow someone else like our schools or televison to do the tough stuff for us.
I am writting today because I dont understand sex ed in schools. About 4 months ago I was asked, by permission slip, if my teenage daughter could attend the sex ed portion of her science class given by a local clinic. For those of you that know me, I am a very open person and I have never had a problem discussing sexuality with my daughters. For those that read my last post you also know I am pretty liberal. I signed the permission slip and thought all was well.
I come from a family where sex is not a "bad" or "dirty" thing. My sisters and I all sat around with coffee at my Moms one day and told her all the palces we had sex in her house. One would say we are open. I also know that my mom and I are not the norm. I know that kids dont always get the benefit of talking to their parents about sex. So that is why sex ed is a good thing. Except the sex ed class that my daughter took talked about the following: Teen pregnancy, Abuse, STD's, Violence, and Puberty.
The one thing missing from the topics covered was Sex. No one told this bunch of teenagers what sex was. No pictures, no diagrams and no discussion. So we took a bunch of kids and told them not to get pregnant but we failed to tell them How they get pregnant. We told them not to get an STD but failed to tell them How they get STD's. Am I the only one that sees the flaw in this method?
Fortunately my daughter knows because thats the kind of parent I am. Consider this the next time you see a pregnat teenager, did we do our best to make sure she did not get that way or did we allow someone else like our schools or televison to do the tough stuff for us.
Wednesday, May 25, 2005
Texas and the rest of the world
Last year I was given the oppurtunity to further my career by moving to Texas. Growing up in the North all my life I figured I was up to the challenge. I was wrong. I have spent the last year learning that Texans are a special breed of people. First off, they are nice. For my friends back home, I dont mean the kind of nice where you give the thank you wave to the driver that actually let you cut in on route 195, I mean talking about your day in the local grocery store kind of nice. Coming from a place where we never look people in the eye for fear of having them say, "what ya lookin at." This has been a shocker. I have learned that nice people really do exist and not just "being nice" to get something from you. Although, I have met those here to. Texans also exhibit an unbelievable pride in their state. People have the star of Texas on their house, driveway, car, tatooed on their body type of pride. They all attend the local high school football games regardless if they went or have kids in that school. They fly the Texas flag everywhere. I dont even know if Mass has a flag let alone fly it from my home or tatoo it on my body. The third thing that you cant miss is that it is perfectly ok for a Texas cop to call a woman darlin. There is even a commercial where a car dealer asks a woman if she has checked with her husband before buying the car....Where am I? Lastly Texans love George W. He is from here and supported here. For those of you that know me I am kind of liberal. I believe in a woman's right to choose and work for that matter. I support the men and woman fighting right now because they are giving up things I could not, like seeing my children. Dont get me wrong I like Texans. I just wanted to illustrate that even though we all live in the USA, I am a foreigner in a foreign land.
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