Took my oldest daughter, Brenna, to see P.S. I Love You tonight. This movie, combined with the Piper's travel journal, makes me want to go to Ireland. The scenary was beautiful and the men in this movie complemented the scenary very nicely.
If you are a wussy, hopeless romantic, smushy girl like me, then go see this movie but bring a huge box of tissues. This movie made me ugly cry for the entire two hours. I was going to go to the grocery store after and could not because of how red and swollen my eyes were after the film. The movie is about this woman who loses her husband at the age of 35. They are truly in love and this is easily conveyed in the first ten minutes of the film. Like I said, I am a hopeless romantic so seeing this much romance in ten minutes was enough to make me start cryig. The he dies and she cannot move forward. It was a great chick flick but probably the saddest movie I have seen in a long time.
New Year
I wanted to thank everyone for their love and support in 2007. I am looking forward to 2008.
* I started back at the gym again and feel really good that I am running daily. 5K season is coming up and I cant wait. I am hoping to travel to a few places to compete this year too. Wish me luck!
* I promised my friend Jeff that I would learn how to invest this year. He has been a great help to me with my finances and budget now that Iam out on my own. He is a very smart man and I am grateful that he is willing to help someone who is not very stock market savy. Plus he answers my really stupid questions like, "how do you know that stock has dividends."
* I am booking my trip to Vegas. This is one place I have really wanted to go so I am going this year. I am not sure if I will be going alone or with friends but either way I am set on going. I want to see Cirque and stay at the Bellagio.
* Piper, I will find what makes me happy too and do it! Feel free to kick my butt if I ever get that "oh poor me" on you again.
So far for me that's it for 2008. It will not be an easy year with some of the 'life" stuff I have set before me. I am ready for it though. I realized on the treadmill today that I alone got back home where I wanted to be. Many times while trying I thought I would just give up. It was very hard. My daughters did not want to move, my husband did not want to let go and the journey seemed impossible. I am here now and rebuilding and I will be fine. For a 4'11 wussy, hopeless romantic girl, I am very strong!
Happy New Year!!!!
Sunday, December 30, 2007
Monday, December 17, 2007
There's Booze in the Blender
Soon it will render
That frozen concoction that helps me hang on
Mardi Gras
Not the religious holiday or party in New Orleans but the multiplex night club in Warwick, RI. This is where I found myself last Saturday night. My old friends thought that I might need a night out with the girls, dancing and drinking. As I paid my cover, made my way to the bar and dance floor, I asked myself something. What the hell am I doing here? The dance floor was small and sweaty. The theme of the first club was hip hop and the walls were painted with an aquarium theme. This theme was complete with big plastic sharks circling the perimeter. How fitting! The second club as a country western line dance bar. Oh my god I thought I had left Texas. You are not country because you wear a cowboy hat and live in RI. Just not getting it at all. The next one was a rock bar. The band in the bar sucked so bad that I could not drink them better. Finally, I just drank my watered down beer and danced with my friends. Problem is that you are never just dancing with your friends. You have those sharks circling all the time. They wink, stare, buy you drinks and hope that you will go home with them. Ummm no!
Death
Once again I have been faced with death. I believe that everythng in my life happens for a reason but I am wondering why I death seems to be at my side. Last week I had my own episode and it took me a good week to come to terms with what went on. Last night in the ER, I witnessed the death of a teenager involved in a car accident. My cousin took her infant son to the ER and asked me to go to help. I gladly went and stayed with her to give her a hand. While there they brought in a teenager who died in a car accident. I cannot imagine the grief that family was about to suffer and luckily we were able to leave before they bought the family back to see their child. I will discover what it is that I need to learn from all of this but until then it is freaking me the fuck out.
Happy Birthday Piper
December 18th is the Angry Piper's birthday. Piper and I have been friends for over 20 years. I could not let the day go by without wishing him a Happy Birthday. I raise my glass to you my friend. Happy Birthday! I hope it is a good one.
Remember, "life is full of entree's, dont fill up on bread."
That frozen concoction that helps me hang on
Mardi Gras
Not the religious holiday or party in New Orleans but the multiplex night club in Warwick, RI. This is where I found myself last Saturday night. My old friends thought that I might need a night out with the girls, dancing and drinking. As I paid my cover, made my way to the bar and dance floor, I asked myself something. What the hell am I doing here? The dance floor was small and sweaty. The theme of the first club was hip hop and the walls were painted with an aquarium theme. This theme was complete with big plastic sharks circling the perimeter. How fitting! The second club as a country western line dance bar. Oh my god I thought I had left Texas. You are not country because you wear a cowboy hat and live in RI. Just not getting it at all. The next one was a rock bar. The band in the bar sucked so bad that I could not drink them better. Finally, I just drank my watered down beer and danced with my friends. Problem is that you are never just dancing with your friends. You have those sharks circling all the time. They wink, stare, buy you drinks and hope that you will go home with them. Ummm no!
Death
Once again I have been faced with death. I believe that everythng in my life happens for a reason but I am wondering why I death seems to be at my side. Last week I had my own episode and it took me a good week to come to terms with what went on. Last night in the ER, I witnessed the death of a teenager involved in a car accident. My cousin took her infant son to the ER and asked me to go to help. I gladly went and stayed with her to give her a hand. While there they brought in a teenager who died in a car accident. I cannot imagine the grief that family was about to suffer and luckily we were able to leave before they bought the family back to see their child. I will discover what it is that I need to learn from all of this but until then it is freaking me the fuck out.
Happy Birthday Piper
December 18th is the Angry Piper's birthday. Piper and I have been friends for over 20 years. I could not let the day go by without wishing him a Happy Birthday. I raise my glass to you my friend. Happy Birthday! I hope it is a good one.
Remember, "life is full of entree's, dont fill up on bread."
Monday, December 10, 2007
Welcome Home ER Visit
If you would have asked me last week when I thought I would ever get back to my old place of work, I would not have said soon. 
Unfortunately for me fate had another answer in mind.
Last night I went to watch the NE Patriots game at a good friends house.
The game was great to watch, until the 3rd, when the Pats really just ran away with the ball. I had 3 beers, some nachos, chicken wings and hung out for a bit. It was getting close to 8pm and I thought it was about time to call it a night. For those of you with school age kids you know that 8:00pm on a school night is considered late. Long gone are the days of drinking at Frat parties until 3:00am and then heading to Economics first thing in the morning. Just no longer happens. Right before I left the house I made one big mistake.
My friend has been using a new supplement that has worked wonders for her.
She had been talking this drink up all night long. It really works for her and has lowered her cholestorol and improved her overall health. She told me it was made of fruits and berries and it tasted very good. Before walking to my car she handed me a shot class with about 2 ounces of juice in it. I drank it down, commented on its taste and took my kids to the car.
On the way home I turned onto Sodom road. It is not a very well lit or straight road. It is known to test your driving ability with its quick turns on rainy nights. Last night was one of them. My daughters and I were signing Christmas carols and just being silly. When I got to the middle of the street I began to have some after effects of this drink. My heart began to race, I got sweaty and cold. I had a tough time swallowing. I tried to blow it off and keep driving. I stopped at a local store to buy a bottle of water to possibly help with these symptoms. As I approached the door, the owner told me they were closed and I could not get the water. I hopped back in the car and flew about 6 miles to my parents house. Once inside I tried to lay down to see if I could get the symptoms to pass. I told my mother what went on and that I thought I was having a reaction to the drink. She took my blood pressure and my pulse. My BP was 135 over 120 and my pulse was 130. I tried again to rest. No stopping my rapid heartbeat. Feeling like I was going to pass out I asked my mom to call an ambulance. I really felt very ill.
Westport resuce arrived from the Main rd station, in what felt like ten minutes. I am sure it was less. Once inside the ambulance they ran an IV and hooked me up to the blood pressure machine. I started ringing all types of bells during the ride as my blood pressure topped out at 145 over 155. At this time I felt like I was going to pass out for sure. I was hot, dizzy and had the thoughest time swallowing. Once inside the ER they gave me a wonderful little pill that reversed the effects of the little purple drink. It brought my heart rate under control and I was home sometime after midnight. I was warned to avoid caffeine and nicotine as well as any other stimulant. It appears that this little drink contained a lot of berries that are stimulants. Again, I only drank 2 ounces. I felt the effect of this stimulant for the rest of the night. I had episodes for the rest of the evening where my heart raced and then slowed down again. I was very lucky.
Everyone in the ER asked me why I would have just drank the drink. First of all this person giving it to me is a friend and we have been friends for a while. She was not trying to kill me. Secondly, I have never experienced a reaction to any food or drink in my life. I am not an allergy prone person. Not the smartest thing I have ever done and I sure as hell will never do it again. This also means that Red Bull and all energy drinks are out of the line up for me, so said the nice ER doctor. I will listen too. No rush to visit my old place of employment anytime soon
Unfortunately for me fate had another answer in mind.
Last night I went to watch the NE Patriots game at a good friends house.
The game was great to watch, until the 3rd, when the Pats really just ran away with the ball. I had 3 beers, some nachos, chicken wings and hung out for a bit. It was getting close to 8pm and I thought it was about time to call it a night. For those of you with school age kids you know that 8:00pm on a school night is considered late. Long gone are the days of drinking at Frat parties until 3:00am and then heading to Economics first thing in the morning. Just no longer happens. Right before I left the house I made one big mistake.
My friend has been using a new supplement that has worked wonders for her.
She had been talking this drink up all night long. It really works for her and has lowered her cholestorol and improved her overall health. She told me it was made of fruits and berries and it tasted very good. Before walking to my car she handed me a shot class with about 2 ounces of juice in it. I drank it down, commented on its taste and took my kids to the car.
On the way home I turned onto Sodom road. It is not a very well lit or straight road. It is known to test your driving ability with its quick turns on rainy nights. Last night was one of them. My daughters and I were signing Christmas carols and just being silly. When I got to the middle of the street I began to have some after effects of this drink. My heart began to race, I got sweaty and cold. I had a tough time swallowing. I tried to blow it off and keep driving. I stopped at a local store to buy a bottle of water to possibly help with these symptoms. As I approached the door, the owner told me they were closed and I could not get the water. I hopped back in the car and flew about 6 miles to my parents house. Once inside I tried to lay down to see if I could get the symptoms to pass. I told my mother what went on and that I thought I was having a reaction to the drink. She took my blood pressure and my pulse. My BP was 135 over 120 and my pulse was 130. I tried again to rest. No stopping my rapid heartbeat. Feeling like I was going to pass out I asked my mom to call an ambulance. I really felt very ill.
Westport resuce arrived from the Main rd station, in what felt like ten minutes. I am sure it was less. Once inside the ambulance they ran an IV and hooked me up to the blood pressure machine. I started ringing all types of bells during the ride as my blood pressure topped out at 145 over 155. At this time I felt like I was going to pass out for sure. I was hot, dizzy and had the thoughest time swallowing. Once inside the ER they gave me a wonderful little pill that reversed the effects of the little purple drink. It brought my heart rate under control and I was home sometime after midnight. I was warned to avoid caffeine and nicotine as well as any other stimulant. It appears that this little drink contained a lot of berries that are stimulants. Again, I only drank 2 ounces. I felt the effect of this stimulant for the rest of the night. I had episodes for the rest of the evening where my heart raced and then slowed down again. I was very lucky.
Everyone in the ER asked me why I would have just drank the drink. First of all this person giving it to me is a friend and we have been friends for a while. She was not trying to kill me. Secondly, I have never experienced a reaction to any food or drink in my life. I am not an allergy prone person. Not the smartest thing I have ever done and I sure as hell will never do it again. This also means that Red Bull and all energy drinks are out of the line up for me, so said the nice ER doctor. I will listen too. No rush to visit my old place of employment anytime soon
Tuesday, December 04, 2007
Letter
Once again I am a slave to the great Malach. Actually I thought this one was pretty cool.
Imagine you could send a letter back in time to yourself, when you were 13 years old, what would you write to yourself?
Tami,
The year is 2007 and I am your 35 year old self. I am writing to give you a little look into your future. Hopefully you will find this information helpful and not blow it off like you do the warnings of others as you age.
Dating - Here are a few names to avoid in the near future. This one you will date because you are competitive. Avoid Louie like the plague. Yes, you will win but you will give him back in a short amount of time. He will take you to a Valentine dance where you will be teased by Dave H about your 'guns" and he will not defend you. You will look very good at this dance and you will keep the dress you wore that night well into your 30's. You will get a compliment that night from Mark. He will walk you to the corner to wait for your Mom for a ride. You will fall in love later in life with Bill. You think this is the one but he is not. You will date him for a while but it will end. Ted is just a jerk and Griffin is way too crazy for you. Trust me on these guys.
School - Whatever you do dont leave college. Even though you are homesick and you want to quit, dont. Transfer to the geek dorm and finish your education. You can be the doctor you always wanted to be and be very good at it. You dont need to commute, because you will never finish. You will have a great job that pays well but it will never be your life's love.
Marriage - Dont rush into this at all. Your true friends will warn you and tell you this is just not the right time. Listen to them. You never admit to them that they were right but they were. You will be married for 14 years and some of them are good. A lot of it is just tough. Not bad, just tough. It will test the person you are. You will be ok in the long run. You leave the marriage in year 14 and you are working really hard to rebuild and be ok. You have some great friends and support and that helps.
Family - Your daughters are great. They are smart and beautiful. They are strong. You are very proud of them. You will have them after your a doctor so dont quit school to get married and have a family. They will wait for you. Tell your sister that you love her and value that friendship. She will not be with you through your whole life and you will regret what you did not say and do. Fix this now because it will be a source of anxiety for you as you grow older. When the phone rings in the yard that summer day and you are with Carol, answer it. This is your greatest regret in your life with her. You will not get another chance.
Friends - You will have many as you age. They will all teach you something about yourself. Keep the ones who play Dungeons and Dragons and tell you to leave because girls are not allowed. They make you laugh and are there for you. You will have them well into your adult life. Tell them how much they mean to you.
Tips:
Dont ask the guy at U Mass if you can eat what he is holding. It is a gold circle condom not a chocolate. Save yourself!
Watch American Werewolf In London in Nantucket. It will scare the crap out of you but will make a great memory.
Dont move to Texas. It is not where you want to be,you will not be happy and it will cost you a fortune to move back. You will move back.
Find better taste in music. Most of the time you listen to crap. HAHAHA
Run! Dont think you need to set records or run marathons to be a runner. Your a runner because you run.
Join the gym. You look great at 35!
Imagine you could send a letter back in time to yourself, when you were 13 years old, what would you write to yourself?
Tami,
The year is 2007 and I am your 35 year old self. I am writing to give you a little look into your future. Hopefully you will find this information helpful and not blow it off like you do the warnings of others as you age.
Dating - Here are a few names to avoid in the near future. This one you will date because you are competitive. Avoid Louie like the plague. Yes, you will win but you will give him back in a short amount of time. He will take you to a Valentine dance where you will be teased by Dave H about your 'guns" and he will not defend you. You will look very good at this dance and you will keep the dress you wore that night well into your 30's. You will get a compliment that night from Mark. He will walk you to the corner to wait for your Mom for a ride. You will fall in love later in life with Bill. You think this is the one but he is not. You will date him for a while but it will end. Ted is just a jerk and Griffin is way too crazy for you. Trust me on these guys.
School - Whatever you do dont leave college. Even though you are homesick and you want to quit, dont. Transfer to the geek dorm and finish your education. You can be the doctor you always wanted to be and be very good at it. You dont need to commute, because you will never finish. You will have a great job that pays well but it will never be your life's love.
Marriage - Dont rush into this at all. Your true friends will warn you and tell you this is just not the right time. Listen to them. You never admit to them that they were right but they were. You will be married for 14 years and some of them are good. A lot of it is just tough. Not bad, just tough. It will test the person you are. You will be ok in the long run. You leave the marriage in year 14 and you are working really hard to rebuild and be ok. You have some great friends and support and that helps.
Family - Your daughters are great. They are smart and beautiful. They are strong. You are very proud of them. You will have them after your a doctor so dont quit school to get married and have a family. They will wait for you. Tell your sister that you love her and value that friendship. She will not be with you through your whole life and you will regret what you did not say and do. Fix this now because it will be a source of anxiety for you as you grow older. When the phone rings in the yard that summer day and you are with Carol, answer it. This is your greatest regret in your life with her. You will not get another chance.
Friends - You will have many as you age. They will all teach you something about yourself. Keep the ones who play Dungeons and Dragons and tell you to leave because girls are not allowed. They make you laugh and are there for you. You will have them well into your adult life. Tell them how much they mean to you.
Tips:
Dont ask the guy at U Mass if you can eat what he is holding. It is a gold circle condom not a chocolate. Save yourself!
Watch American Werewolf In London in Nantucket. It will scare the crap out of you but will make a great memory.
Dont move to Texas. It is not where you want to be,you will not be happy and it will cost you a fortune to move back. You will move back.
Find better taste in music. Most of the time you listen to crap. HAHAHA
Run! Dont think you need to set records or run marathons to be a runner. Your a runner because you run.
Join the gym. You look great at 35!
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