Saturday, August 25, 2007

Committed - Again

No this is not a new post saying that I have been sent to a facility to rest for a while. I truly could use being committed right now, but that's not what this is about. This is about my commitment again to the gym.

I have a goal to loose 50lbs. This has been a long term goal of mine for quite some time. I am not sure if 50lbs is reasonable for me though. I have never been stick thin. Let's just say my body type may not support my goal. I have been going to the gym consistently for over a year now. I love it. I try and go daily for a 35 min cardio treadmill run. On Saturdays, I take an hour long kickboxing class. Nothing tells me that I am alive more than kicking and punching for sixty minutes.

This is a re-commitment post because last week I said fuck the gym. I came home after work each day, drank a few glasses of wine and lay on my bed watching television. Looking at it this week, I think I was depressed. Things have been tough for me lately and I threw in the towel. I ate crap food all week and on top of that, did not exercise at all. That is until Friday night.

I was driving to opening night for the Texas high school football season, eating fried chicken tenders and French fries dipped in white gravy with a honey butter biscuit. As I dripped white gravy on my thankfully white tee, I said, what the hell are you doing. Why are you letting your life situation right now dictate how you feel and look? I put the food down, parked my car and went into the football stadium. This morning I got up, put on my gym clothes and made my kickboxing class.

I have finally decided to hire a personal trainer, stick with my goal and hopefully by the time I move home in November I will be a little closer. I also looked up when the next 5K was in this area and registered.

Wish me luck.

Friday, August 17, 2007

Signs

"What I've succumbed to is making me numb."

Do you believe in your astrological sign? Do you read your fortune after you finish your Chinese food?
Me, I read my fortunes and get a good laugh out of ones like, "others will enjoy your generosity." I like the ones that say, "A change is coming your way." I like the idea of something different. Sometimes I wonder why I am not happy in one place doing the same thing for a while. I wonder why I am a restless soul. I am the person who likes to move from one adventure to the next. I like diversity and I enjoy a challenge. Why? Why do I get bored so easily?
A male friend of mine told me it was because I was a Gemini. He told me to look into my zodiac sign and I would have a better understanding of myself. So I did look into my sign and what I found was not surprising.
Gemini- In love the Gemini person tends to be light-hearted, fickle, coolly affectionate, flirtatious, and may occasionally have 'a second string to their bow'. They need to be mentally stimulated in a relationship as well as emotionally and sexually.
The Gemini-born are intellectually inclined, forever probing people and places in search of information. The more information a Gemini collects, the better. Sharing that information later on with those they love is also a lot of fun, for Geminis are supremely interested in developing their relationships.
Is this me? The more I read the more I thought this was me. I love to be around people who can carry on good conversations. I love to discuss and debate issues and current events. I get bored easily in life. Maybe my friend had it right. Who knows...

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Question to Ask

"Ive become so numb without a soul my spirit sleeping somewhere cold."

On my recent quick visit home my cousin Jen gave me a book called, "When Things Fall Apart." This book pretty much sums up my life at the moment and she felt I should read it and gain some type of insight or comfort. I began reading the book on my flight home and have gotten halfway through it. I am stuck though on one part and need some insight.

The book is based on Buddist teachings and living in the present. It is very easy to understand except that it talks about giving up hope. That is the part I cant seem to get past in order to understand what I am reading. It says that when we cling to hope, it prevents us from living in the present and moving forward.

I know I have some very intelligent friends and thought maybe some of you had some insight. I am not really into self help books at all and I am trying to give this one a shot. If you have read any Buddist teachings and understand this aspect could you let me know.

Friday, August 10, 2007

Home

"You never thought you'd be alone, this far down the line."

It has been kind of a rough week for me. I am happy to be going home tomorrow. I have an early flight and will be in Providence by 3:00pm. It is a short trip and as usual there are a lot of things I want to do. I am coming back in September too and for a little bit longer. Hopefully the flight will be good. I am downloading a book to my ipod and bringing one too.
Chat with you soon!

Thursday, August 09, 2007

Tag

So the Piper tagged me and I have been his submissive since I was 12. I must do everything that he commands me to do. So here it goes.

The Rules:
1. We have to post these rules before we give you the facts.
2. Players start with eight random facts/habits about themselves.
3. People who are tagged write their own blog post about their eight things and include these rules.
4. At the end of your blog, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names. Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged and that they should read your blog.5.
8 is a magic number. Not three.

1) When I was a child I collected feathers that came out of my feather pillow and kept them all in a box in my bureau. I did not throw them out because I did not want to hurt their feelings. No joke.

2) I slept in the same bed with my oldest sister for years. Each night before I got into bed she would make me show her my feet so she could be sure they were clean before she let me into bed.

3) Childhood nickname that my mother still calls me today - Half pint. Other nicknames are, T, Tam, Tamster, little one and for the folks at work, TNT.

4) When I drink I get, "friendly!" This is why I only drink around people I can be friendly with without it becoming a big issue. This does not happen with beer because that does not get me intoxicated. This happens with 2 full glasses of my favorite wine.

5) I have always wanted to have sex in the rain on the ground. Not sure why, but I am guessing it's because I am sometimes sappy and watched too much "Say Anything" as a teenager. Same reason I get mushy when I hear, "In Your eyes."

6) I cannot watch any type of horror movie. I will not sleep for weeks. As a teenager I watched American Werewolf in London while in Nantucket and made my travel companion sleep with me that night because i was too afraid.

7) I left a boyfriend at a high school Valentine day dance because a friend of his said, "wow your girlfriend has big guns." Instead of defending me, he agreed. I left the dance, walked down the street and called for a ride.

8) I have big boobs. I have had them since I was 12. See comment above. I like them. I would never get them reduced or changed at all. They look good in my shirts and have helped me get out of a ticket every now and then. I like to bare them on occasion as well. Tel, I will have to show you.

Tagged: All of you have already been tagged so I cannot tag anyone else. I will have to start tagging other random bloggers.

Saturday, August 04, 2007

Fair or Unfair

Last Sunday I was reading the Austin American Statesman and came across an article that was upsetting. The article recounted the number of children in each state that have died from being left in a hot car. The focus of the article was upsetting as it recounted stories told by parents who left their children in their car. It was, to say the least, very sad.
The part of the article that really upset and angered me, was that woman who leave their children in their car to die, were given harsher sentences than men. Here is the article: http://abcnews.go.com/US/wireStory?id=3424550.
I dont understand why this would be the case. The article seemed to give the impression that a mother leaving a child to die in a hot car is unforgivable while for the father it is tragic. It is a tragedy for everyone.
Do we still have so far to go in equality? Mothers are still seen as the only primary care giver? For a mother to forget or leave her child is seen in judge and jury's eyes to be an act of betrayal. She is the one who cares for that child, how could she do that! Fathers are still seen as having so many things on their minds with work and managing a home life, that this failure is seen as a tragic mistake.
In my opinion both bear the same responsibility. Fathers are stepping up in so many ways in their children's lives. They are no longer sitting by the sidelines but are active participants. This is a good thing. Along with this though comes the same level of responsibility that a mother has daily.